(NSFW) A Guy Walks Into A Tattoo Shop...

Tattoo artist: Can I help you?

Guy: Yes, I'm wondering if you would tattoo my penis?

Artist: ok, what were you thinking of getting?

Guy: I want a bouquet of my wife's favorite flowers.

Artist: um, why flowers?

Guy: so I can tell people that I try to be a loving husband and give my wife flowers everyday, but the bitch just swats them away and yells at me to leave her alone.