So I Met A Pirate...

• Mobile user, please excuse phrasing.

So the other day I met a pirate. I mean this guy was the real deal, peg leg, hook for a hand, eye patch, the works. I just had to ask him about it.

"Can I ask how you got the peg leg?". "Aye, twas a dark, stormy night. I was at sea, surveying for land, when a giant shark came up out of the briny and took me leg clean off!" "WOW! That's quite a tale!" I said, "and what about you hand?" "Aye," he continued, "I was on the lower deck, inspecting the cannons, when a giant squid reached up through the porthole and tore me hand clean off!"

"UNBELIEVABLE", I said, and I had to know more. "So what about your eye?" "Arr, twas not long after the squid, I was back on deck preparing to invade a small clipper ship, when a bird flew over and shit right in me eye!" "Wow and that cost you your eye?"

"No, it was me first day with the hook..."

Edit: Pirate lingo.