"Who's That Over There Talking To Himself?" I Asked The Barman In The Pub.

"That's Bill," He replied. "He comes in every dinner time and sits and has a drink with his imaginary wife."

"Is he a loony?" I asked.

"What makes you say that?" He laughed.

"Why else would you have an imaginary wife?" I replied, "an imaginary girlfriend would be far less hassle, and you'd still get regular sex."