What's Small, Damp, And Hates Small Places?

The 9 year old in my trunk.

Whats the difference between a truckload of watermelons and a truckload of babies?

You can't unload watermelons with a pitchfork.

What's the best part about showering with a 12 year old?

Slick their hair back and they look 10.

How do you get a baby out of a blender?

Tortilla chips.