Heavens A Bit Full This Week....

God calls St Peter to his office and tells him that heaven is getting pretty full today and that only people with unfair or horrible deaths can be allowed in.

So, St Peter returns to the Pearly Gates, stands on his podium and he calls out "all those that died an unfair or horrible death please form an orderly line here, the rest of you. Hell is through that door"

Peter then heads to the front of the queue and asks the man "how did you die?"

The man replies "Well, i've been suspecting my wife of cheating on me for a month or so now, so i finished work early and rushed back to my flat which is on the 24th floor, but the lifts were out and as you can see i'm no George Clooney so by the time i got to my floor i was quite knackered. Anyways i go in and find my wife completely starkers in bed. I rush around the flat searching for him! i run out onto the balcony and see a pair of hands hanging on to the edge of it. so i start stamping on them, but the batard wouldn't let go, so i run inside and grab a hammer from my toolbox and smacked the asholes fingers with it till he finally let go. I watch him fall but he landed in bushes and he's getting up! He was fine! I was fuming!!!! I ran in, grabbed the fridge and threw it down on top of the tos*er and killed him! Then I had searing pain and I blinked and here i am"

"thats awful, what a way to go", says Peter. "please enter"

the man walks through, Peter then approaches the next man in the queue, tells him the circumstances in heaven today and asks for his story.

"well", says the man "i was doing my daily exercises by hanging off the balcony above my flat on the 25th floor, when a sudden gust of wind caused me to lose my grip and i fell, my life flashed before my eyes and I some how managed to catch the 24th floors balcony, i started to climb back up when the idiot who lives below me appears and starts stamping on my hands! I'm screaming at him to stop and he did and I almost get up but he starts smackin me wit a hammer! so i had to let go. Again my life flashed before my eyes and I hit the ground, luckily there were bushes below and i think i just sprained my ankle, but as i was getting up, this fridge landed on me and here i am!"

"thats truly unfair, please proceed" says st peter.

peter then goes to the third man in the queue, tells him the situation and asks for his cause of death.

"you're never going to believe this" says the man "i was hiding in this fridge......"