The Genius Plan To Fix India's Dire Financial Situation.

In the early 20th century the Indian government hired a group of highly successful MBA graduates to brainstorm a solution to India's woeful finances. One says...

"I have an idea! We hold a raffle and sell the tickets for mere rupees, that way every Indian no matter how poor can enter, millions of Indians all buying tickets, it will be a huge step in the right direction".

It was agreed amongst the group that this was by far the best idea to see great financial gains over the shortest time frame and took the idea to the government.

The government loved it and began the raffle as soon as they could. After a year of selling millions and millions of raffle tickets it was time to draw. A stage was built, loud speakers lined the streets of New Dehli and radio broadcasters had come from all over the country. One of India's most beautiful women was hired to reach in to the mountainous barrel to pluck the lucky winners tickets.

She reaches in and grabs the first one, hands it to the Prime Minister...

"Ticket number one million seven hundred and three thousand and twenty six" could be heard booming through the speakers in the streets.

"IT'S ME" yells a little old man right towards the back. He runs for an hour to get to the stage to claim his prize.

"it's me, it's me, see look at my ticket, I won I won, I can't believe it, I've won" he cries.

"Yes you have won, and what a prize" says the Prime minister. "You have won a year long vacation for you and your immediate family, sailing around the world, first class on the most elegant ships, all expenses paid"

"Oooh I can't belive it" sobs the little old man.

The beautiful woman reaches in to the barrel again.

"It is ticket two hundred and eleven" says the Prime Minister.

"IT'S ME" yells a man in the middle of the crowds. "IT'S ME, IT'S ME, I'VE WON" he cries in disbelief.

He races to the stage

"it's me it's me. I've won I've won" he can be heard chanting "oh my, what have I won?" he asks the Prime minister.

"a fruit cake"

"WHAAAT.... A FRUIT CAKE!" yells the Indian man angrily.

"A fruit cake? But third prize was an all expenses paid holiday for a year and I get a fruit cake?"

"Ahhh" says the prime minister. "This is a special fruit cake, it was baked by Madame Gandhi"

"FUCK MADAME GANDHI"

"oh no no no, you can't be having first prize"