A Fat Man, A Rich Man And A Gay Man Go To Hell

Standing before Satan, they waited as he determined their punishments. Trembling in fear, Satan began to speak. "You three have each led a life of greed, gluttony, and wanton carnality. All sins punishable by eternal damnation. However, I will grant you one more chance at life, but each with one condition. If these rules are broken, you will return straight to hell."

The three men grew excited and quickly agreed to these terms. "So be it." said Satan. Satan then pointed to the fat man, "You, gluttonous one, can never eat an unhealthy food again. Agreed?" "Agreed." The fat man said sadly. He then disappeared. "You!" Satan bellowed at the rich man, "can never touch another dime, nor dollar or any other currency." "Agreed." said the rich man, a tear in his eye. He too disappeared. "Finally," said Satan to the gay man. "you can never touch another man in a sexual manner." "Fine!" The gay man exclaimed, rolling his eyes.

Back on Earth the three men were elated at being given a second chance. They decided to remain together and be sure to keep each other out of trouble. Walking down the street they passed a hot dog stand. The fat man, on a diet of vegetables and tofu salad, licked his lips at the sight of a young boys chili cheese dog and ripped it from the boy's hands! The rich man and the gay man screamed as he took a bite...and the fat man disappeared.

Shaken, they promised themselves not to fall prey to their respective vices. They continued to walk down the street and the rich man spotted a shiny new quarter on the sidewalk! By instinct the rich man bent over to pick it up, and the gay man disappeared.