My Friend Larry Says He Knows Everyone...

During President Obama’s inauguration, Larry told me, "You know, Obama and I are buddies." said, "Sure you are." He said, "No, really! Just turn on your TV tonight to the Inaugural Ball. You'll see me." Sure enough, I turned on the TV that night, and there was Larry, talking to President Obama with his arm around the guy.

Not long after, I was talking to Larry about how much I like Jennifer Lawrence. Larry said, "Oh, she's a good friend of mine." I said, "Noooo!" Larry said, "C’mon". He drove me to Jennifer Lawrence’s house, where she opened the door, exclaimed “Larry!”, gave him a big hug and invited us in for drinks.

This was getting spooky. Larry seemed to know everyone! While at an Arnold Schwarzenegger press conference, just before the Governator started answering questions, he said "Hey, I see my friend Larry out there!"

I was already pretty impressed, but then one day, when Larry and I were having drinks and watching the news, Larry saw the Pope on TV and said something about their being friends. I said, "You can't know the Pope, too!" Larry said, "Wanna bet?"

Larry happens to be very well off, so he flew the both of us to Rome. We took a cab to St. Peters Square. We were standing in the big crowd below the balcony of the Pope's apartment. Larry said, "Excuse me for a little while" and disappeared into the crowd.

A little while after that, Pope Francis appeared on the balcony and started blessing people. And who should be up there beside him but...you guessed it…Larry!

I was utterly amazed! I nudged a guy standing next to me, pointed to the balcony, and said, "Look!" The guy shaded his eyes with his palm, peered up at the balcony, turned back to me, and said, "Who's that guy up there with Larry?"