An Ethical Objectivist, A Relativist, And A Nihilist Walk Into A Bar...

The Ethical Objectivist orders water, the Relativist orders a glass of wine and the Nihilist steals a beer. The Ethical Objectivist is appalled at the Nihilist, and is upset the two are drinking. The Relativist says, “Don’t worry. You aren’t guilty by association.” The Nihilist shrugs and says, “I was thirsty.” The Ethical Objectivist gets flustered, pays their tabs and leaves. The Nihilist looks at the Relativist and says, “I told you his virtues would get us free drinks.”