This One Made My Dad Throw Up.

Two cowboys got into a dare battle. It started off innocent, like farting on the fire, or stealing the cooks whiskey. But as the week rolls on, the dares slowly get worse as each of the cowboys try to win the battle. As they entered town, one stinking of manure and looking to one up his friend, they decide to go to the saloon for a drink. And he sees it, a dirty old spittoon sitting under the bar, glistening in the evening light. "Hey Kevin," he proclaims "I dare you to drink the contents of that spittoon there."

 

Kevin, not looking to be called a wuss quickly accepts and struts over to the spittoon. He grabs it and has to peel if off the floor, leaving a spot that hasn't seen sunlight for years. He takes a quick whiff to see what he's getting into and dry heaves. But he quickly pulls himself together, cleans some dried spit off the rim with his sleeve, puts his lips to the rim and tilts his head back. At this point the smell hits the whole saloon, just straight purification, clearing most of the clientele out, covering their mouths and seeking fresh air. Joe begins gulping down the contents, heaving and convulsing after every swallow, letting excess run down his chin and chest. Down his front is just this rotten, pussy, brown and black swirled slime, with chunks of chew and butts falling and splatting on the floor.

 

After a minute of this his friend eyes watering and mouth dropped open comes to with a fresh whiff of rancid eggs. He heaves and cries "Kevin, stop, that's enough, you win! I cant stand it anymore, you have to stop." At this point, Kevin tips his head back farther and starts drinking more, letting more pussy sludge run around the edge of the spittoon. His friend seeing this looses it and runs outside to vomit. Five minutes later Kevin comes outside, green in face, empty spittoon in hand, and completely soiled with rotten mucus and spittle. Everyone in town is crowded around the entrance to the saloon curious about what was happening, covering their mouths trying to protect themselves from the disease the man is radiating. His friend slowly stands up, cleaning the vomit from his mouth and asks, "Why didn't you stop? I said you won."

 

Kevin looks his friend square in the eyes and flatly responds, "It was all one piece."