Superman

Superman was flying around the city doing his superman thing when all of a sudden he see's Superwoman tanning naked on one of the rooftops.

He thinks to himself "Man, I would LOVE to bang Superwoman, but she HATES me; I'll never get a chance. Wait a second, I'm Superman, I'm faster than a speeding bullet! I could just swoop down, get it in a few times and get out before she even knows what happened!"

Superman goes for it, pulls it out, rockets down, a quick couple pumps and gets out of there before Superwoman even knew what happened.

Superwoman exclaims "Holy shit! what the fuck was that?!" and the invisible man replies "I don't know, but my ass fuckin' hurts"