Trump Returns Home After Ten Days Of Election Campaigning To Find His House In Disarray. Pants, Shoes, Socks, Jackets, Shirts And Underwear Are Strewn From One End Of The Place To The Other.

As he follows the trail of garments towards the bedroom, he starts to hear the unmistakable sounds of his wife and a stranger in the throes of passion.

Trump races to the door, kicks it open, and stares dumbfounded at the sight of his wife enthusiastically humping the man he despises most in the world.

"What the fuck is going on here?" says Trump.

Without breaking her rhythm, Melania looks at her husband and says, "But honey, I'm only doing what you told me to do."

"I told you fuck Jeb! Bush?" asks Trump, his eyes red with rage.

"Yes," says his wife, moaning with pleasure. "You said we needed to save on energy."