Urbanite Tries Moose Hunting

A man was walking home from his job on Wall street and happened to walk past the grand opening for a new wilderness superstore. He decides to go on and take a look around. After walking through the camping and fishing sections he ends up in the hunting supply section. He notices the trophy heads mounted on the wall and is drawn to the moose. Despite having never gone further then the subway map his entire life he decides he is going to go moose hunting.

He finds a Grizzly Adams looking employee at the store and tells the man "I want everything I need to go moose hunting."

After some questions Grizzly Adams realised this new hunter has lots of money but zero outdoor experience. He sells city boy 5 full outfits of hunting clothes, a high end tent and sleeping bag, camp stove and cooking gear and all the odds and ends needed for a week long stay in the woods. They make their way over to the firearm section and Grizzly sells the man the most expensive rifle they sell.

Looking over his haul city boy asks "so now that I have all this gear am I guaranteed I'll get a moose?"

Grizzly looks around to make sure no one was listening in and leaned in close to city boy. He quietly tells him he can guarantee the man gets a moose if he can keep quiet about a family hunting secret of his. City boy eagerly agrees and Grizzly takes him to the back room of the store. Grizzly produced a wooden box the size of a shoe box and puts it on the table in the centre of the room. City boy opens the box and the smell that came from the box nearly knocked him flat on his back. He looks at grizzly through his watering eyes and asks what the rancid stink has to do with moose hunting.

Grizzly explains "this box holds your secret weapon to guarantee you land a moose, the vagina from a female moose. Just put this on a string around your neck and you'll have a bull moose coming your way in no time."

Satisfied with his haul, moose box and all, city boy pays for his gear and heads off to the wilderness to kill a majestic moose.

About 2 weeks later Grizzly notices that same city boy walking in his store. City boy looks like he's been in a fight he has a black eye, his arm in a sling and cuts and scrapes on every bit of exposed skin he can see. As soon as city boy sees Grizzly stomps right over to him points in his face and yells "you son of a bitch I'm going to sue you and take everything you have!"

Confused, Grizzly asks the man what's the problem. City boy gets right in his face and yells "you never sold me any bullets for that gun. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN FUCKED BY A MOOSE!?!?"