Choose Heaven Or Hell

A man dies and goes to heaven where he meets St. Pete. St. Pete welcomes him and says that there is a new regulation now where a soul gets to choose if they want to go to heaven or hell. The soul must spend three days in hell and three days in heaven and after that he chooses where to go.

The man elects to get hell over with first and like that he poof vanishes and is transported to hell. He is greeted by lightly dressed, beautiful women, rivers of gold, alcohol, lust beyond all his dreams, a paradise of pleasure. Nothing at all like he was explained on earth. Everyday a new woman. Everyday the most succulent foods. Everyday just more and more bliss.

Alas, though, his third day was up and like a flash poof he arrived in heaven. He was given wings and a harp. There was no river of gold, lust, women to fuck, the food was relatively bland. All and all, it was just meh.

His third day past, St. Pete appeared before him and asked where he wanted to spend eternity. The man says, "St. Pete... I never thought I'd ever mutter these words, but I want to go to hell!" St. Pete asked him if he was sure and as giddy as a school boy he gives a definitive yes.

And just like that poof he arrives in hell. This time, though, he is shackled to a wall, on fire, and being disemboweled. It's never ending! In torturous pain constantly with no relief! It began to dawn on him that this would be his eternity.

Later that day he sees Satan strolling by. Between his screams of agony and pain, the man yells, "HEY SATAN!! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE WOMEN, THE FOOD, THE LUST, THE HEAVEN THAT WAS HERE WHEN I VISITED!!!"

Satan replies, "oh. You see when you visited I was campaigning. Today you voted!"