Tuesday, May 16, 2017
Things You Could Have Done With The 15000 Dollars You Spent On A Timeshare
Buy 3000 Foot long sandwiches
Commit a heinous act and hire a good lawyer to get you out of it (ie. murder)
Go see a movie with 1000 friends
Go see a movie 1000 times
Buy 1363.63 boxes of name brand tissues to cry in because you don’t have friends to go to a movie with
Buy 1 Jet Ski and Fly board water jetpack system
Fly between Sydney and Dallas Fort worth 10.74 times
Book 50 SUV Limos for up to 3 hours
Build 12.5 really nice computers
Buy 7500 normal cups of coffee
Buy 3000 Starbucks cups of coffee
Go see a Matinee with 1666.67 friends because it works better into their schedules
Have 18.35 scoops of the worlds most expensive Ice-cream
Go see the matinee 1666.67 times because no-one showed up
Buy 375.18 crappy Elvis Presley costumes
Buy 1 original copy of Robert Lewis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and then buy 342.85 scoops of New York Gelato to eat while you read it
Buy 1 tank of gas
Buy 9146.34 sharpies
Buy 2,542,372.88 canary yellow sticky notes
Buy 11.7 wedding dresses
Buy 75,376.88 ounces of Cocoa Puffs
Turn a car into the Adam West Bat-mobile
Buy a Taiwanese Mail-Order bride and spend the remaining $5000 on the wedding
Pay off that debt you owe to the strange Russian businessman who helped you out of that murder trial.
Fly to Vegas ($118) get a high end hooker (~$5000), Get beat up by the russian mob after being alone with the hooker that was actually a russian mob agent (free) and spend the rest of the money on 49.41 low end vegas hookers
Buy a personal Hovercraft
Buy a bed that is shaped like a viking ship
Buy an original Jumpsuit from ghostbusters and then buy 1 Starbucks coffee
Buy a wall sized scrabble board to play with your friends and hire a higher end but not quite, vegas hooker ($3000) to pretend to be your friend while you play scrabble
Buy 30,612.24 stamps
Buy 27.82 Model 642 LaserMax Smith and Wesson Revolvers to end it all
Realize that life is worth living ($200 for either a therapist or a low end hooker, they’ll accomplish the same thing) 75 times
Buy 125,000 trash bags to throw away the guns
Seeing the sunrise - $priceless
on your timeshare $15000
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