Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Things You Could Have Done With The 15000 Dollars You Spent On A Timeshare

Buy 3000 Foot long sandwiches 

Commit a heinous act and hire a good lawyer to get you out of it (ie. murder)

Go see a movie with 1000 friends

Go see a movie 1000 times

Buy 1363.63 boxes of name brand tissues to cry in because you don’t have friends to go to a movie with

Buy 1 Jet Ski and Fly board water jetpack system

Fly between Sydney and Dallas Fort worth 10.74 times

Book 50 SUV Limos for up to 3 hours

Build 12.5 really nice computers

 Buy 7500 normal cups of coffee

Buy 3000 Starbucks cups of coffee

Go see a Matinee with 1666.67 friends because it works better into their schedules

Have 18.35 scoops of the worlds most expensive Ice-cream 

Go see the matinee 1666.67 times because no-one showed up

Buy 375.18 crappy Elvis Presley costumes

Buy 1 original copy of Robert Lewis Stevenson’s Treasure Island and then buy 342.85 scoops of New York Gelato to eat while you read it

Buy 1 tank of gas

Buy 9146.34 sharpies

Buy 2,542,372.88 canary yellow sticky notes

Buy 11.7 wedding dresses

Buy 75,376.88 ounces of Cocoa Puffs

Turn a car into the Adam West Bat-mobile 

Buy a Taiwanese Mail-Order bride and spend the remaining $5000 on the wedding

Pay off that debt you owe to the strange Russian businessman who helped you out of that murder trial.

Fly to Vegas ($118) get a high end hooker (~$5000), Get beat up by the russian mob after being alone with the hooker that was actually a russian mob agent (free) and spend the rest of the money on 49.41 low end vegas hookers

Buy a personal Hovercraft

Buy a bed that is shaped like a viking ship

Buy an original Jumpsuit from ghostbusters and then buy 1 Starbucks coffee

Buy a wall sized scrabble board to play with your friends and hire a higher end but not quite, vegas hooker ($3000) to pretend to be your friend while you play scrabble

Buy 30,612.24 stamps

Buy 27.82 Model 642 LaserMax Smith and Wesson Revolvers to end it all

Realize that life is worth living ($200 for either a therapist or a low end hooker, they’ll accomplish the same thing) 75 times

Buy 125,000 trash bags to throw away the guns

Seeing the sunrise - $priceless

on your timeshare $15000

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