I Wrote These Jokes.

Why did the Aztec throw the virgin into the volcano?
Because it wanted to feel hot.

Why does the Bagel have a hole in it?
Because a Jew loves to sell you something with nothing in it.

Why does a Catholic kneel at church? Because the priest can’t stand people being taller than him.

How many Muslims can you fit in a room?
Enough to pay the rent.

Where do the Franciscans get their robes from?
The 1400’s

What does it take for a Celebrity to fit in?
A Room full of Celebrities.

What does it take for a rapper to put the mic down?
An Alien Invasion

What did the north pole say to the south pole?
I don’t think the Germans will find us here.

What did the Internet say to America Online?
Thanks for the Roof.

Why are there only four bases in baseball?
Because playing the pentagon takes too long.

What did the president say to the vice president?
You know why I make certain you have it better than me.

What did the taxi driver say in the back of an uber car?
Kids these days.

What did Google say to Bing?
Don’t get me started on Bing.

What did Bing say to DuckDuckGo?
It ain bad playing skins is it?

What did the Gooey Duck say to the GUI Interface?
I have a copyright claim.

What did Ebay say to Etsy?
First.

What did Mozilla say to the United States?
No phone for you.

What Sergey Brin say to Vladmir Putin?
The plan worked.

What did the prom court say to Mark Zuckerberg?
Nice!