Req: I Need Jokes About Being Cheap.

I Bartend at a jazz club that hosts an open mic night for amateur comedians once a month. My boss/the owner is the cheapest scum bag I've ever met. He will not pay people their pay checks for months. And then still only give half of it.

He'll pay the kitchen staff $5 an hour off the books when they're supposed to get $9 and be on the books for benefits. They all work over 40 hours a week so he gets around overtime pay by keeping them off the books.

I've found a new job already, so my plan is to roast him in front of everyone for being so cheap and embarass him so hard he fires me.

Ill video tape it and the most up voted jokes will be used. Then I'll post the video and give credit to each user in my youtube video. Thanks!