A Bar Named Reddit..

A man walks into a bar named reddit. The sign says "moderated, any offense will not be tolerated" along with a list of strict rules demanding that you show respect and sensitivity or else you will be thrown out of the bar. He goes in, sits down and orders a drink. The bartender brings him his drink. He's really down and frustrated but hopes that some drinking will cheer him up. So he starts drinking.

As he drinks he gets a bit relaxed and notices an odd thing. The bar is FULL of people of different ages. You have kids, teens, young adults, middle aged and all other ages around. Then there are also people from different races. Lots of races. In fact some of which he doesn't even recognize (aliens?). Amazed at this cultural diversity he figures that the group, as a whole, might be quite knowledgeable. If only he could just share some of his troubles with them maybe their collective wisdom could help solve his problems and ease-up his life.

So he starts pouring out his thoughts, and troubles to people around. And as he speaks it starts a discussion with the people around him.

He starts, "I woke up early today... because today was going to be a very special day.. You see I fucking love bacon and I-"

"I fucking LOVE bacon!" echoes the guy sitting next to him loudly.

At this the woman in the next table shouts "You know why I went to the kitchen today? Because I fucking love BACON (BAKING)".

Her husband immediately shouts "oh I love your baking, Frankenswine".

A guy from the opposite corner chimes-in "This is why I bring home the bacon!". And by this time people have randomly begun to join in - each shouting something or the other.

"I love you too HAMLET"

"Watch out she's a PIGpocket"

"Waiter! I would like to order a really Jurassic PORK"

"Guys! guys! Let's not HAM Bush this pooor man. He was saying something! Let's hear him out!"

Silence. Our man is surprised and annoyed by this sudden rude outburst but decides to ignore it and give it another go. This time he decides to skip the topic of bacon altogether and starts with a different one. By this time about half of the people around ignore him and go busy into their own work.

“I was speaking to my mama today who really hates chocolate flavor. You see my papa has a chocolate factory and my mama is now cheating on my papa. And I don’t think that-” Interrupted.

Slow clap

“Am I the only one here to think there's nothing wrong in hating chocolates?” shouts a guy right next to his ear. This starts a commotion again and everyone pitches in their thoughts.

“I don’t know whether he’s a human or a troll”

“Dad has a chocolate factory - Nothing wrong with it.”

“Break off the relationship with both your mom and dad. You have given them enough chances”

“This sounds so fake you karma whore”

“Grow up you fucking piece of shit”

“Yo mama so dirty she makes mud look clean.”

And this starts a whole battalion of Yo Mama insults and puns.

Now our man gets really annoyed. By this time another remaining half of the people have stopped listening to him. He shouts loudly at the top of his lungs, “FUCK! YOU ALL MISSED IT AGAIN!”

And the bartender instantly retorts back “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID!”

Edit: corrected typo