12 Of My Favorite Anti-jokes.

1. A horse walks into a bar, several of the patrons get up and leave quickly after assessing the danger of the situation.

2. How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

3. What's red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

4. I like my women like I like my coffee. Without a penis.

5. What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

6. Why doesn't jesus play hockey? Because soccer and baseball are much more popular in mexico.

7. What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

8. What do a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer.

9. Why isn't Helen Keller a good driver? Because she's dead.

10. Why did the old lady put roller skates on her walker? She has dementia.

11. Why did the dinosaur break through the brick wall? I don't know, that's why I'm asking you the question.

12. An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree. The squirrel looks at the owl and says, nothing because animals can't talk. The owl then continues to eat the squirrel, because it's a bird of prey.

Bonus!: A gorilla walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'd like a banana martini please." The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and becomes aware that he's actually dreaming. He wakes up and begins to tell his wife about the crazy dream he just had. His wife ignores him, and the man cries through the rest of the night with the realization that his marriage is in shambles.