Q. What Time Is It When A VW Fails Its Emissions Test?

A. Time for a new CEO.

Q. How many VW mechanics, engineers, chemists, and physicists does it take to pass EPA tests?
A. Zero. It takes one programmer.

A VW engineer was called in to HR because of his constant flatulence. The HR person delicately asked if he was aware of the problem. "Sure," the engineer replied "I can stop doing it at any time, but it just doesn't matter since I am not being tested today."

A VW engineer's girlfriend broke up with him. She explained "Sometimes you can make love to me for hours, but frankly you smell bad. And sometimes you smell sweet but you run out of gas pretty quickly. I want the best of both." He replied "You aren't the first one to tell me that."