I Had A Babysitting Job Once.

Let me tell you a story about that.

I once babysat a kid, he was about 3, I guess. He was rather small and looked more innocent than an angel. But the catch was that he was a violent ball of profanity and hate.

And I had to babysit the violent ball of profanity and hate.

So I left him to play with Lego and I'm sitting on the couch, watching TV like an irresponsible prick.

Suddenly, I hear something fall in the kitchen. I go to check it out and there I see him, wielding a knife.

I fall over in shock and he marches up to me, knife raised.

"I wanna lub!" he says.

I was confused confused. What's he saying?

He pricks me with it and then shouts "I WANNA LUB!"

What is lub

Baby don't hurt me

Don't hurt me

No more