A Scotsman Enters A Toasting Competition...

After waiting his turn he holds up his glass and says "Here's to spending the rest of me life in between the legs of me wife!" The crowd roars with drunken laughter and he ultimately wins the competition.

Upon arriving home to his wife drunk, he proudly proclaims his victory only to be asked what his winning toast was. Drunk and caught slightly off guard he says to his wife "Well dear, it was a toast to you. I said 'Here's to spending the rest of me life at church with me beautiful wife.'" His wife is amused and ushers him to bed.

The following morning the wife goes into town to buy groceries. She happens upon a friend of her husbands who was at the toasting competition. He approaches her with a grin and says with a snicker "Did ya hear that yer husband had the best toast last night?" Without skipping a beat she replies "Yea, well he sure fooled the lot of ya. He hasn't been there but twice this year. The first time he fell asleep and the second I had to pull him by his ear to make him come!"