Drunk Guy Goes Home

Guy goes into a bar and proceeds to get extremely drunk. He gets so drunk that he ends up throwing up, all over his shirt.

He looks at the bartender and says, "Man, my wife is really going to lay into me when I get home. I'm drunk and I've thrown up all over my shirt. I'm going to be in big trouble."

The bartender says, "Hey look... here is what you do. Take a ten dollar bill. Put it in your shirt pocket. When she asks you about your shirt, tell her that some OTHER guy at the bar, threw up on you, and then gave you this ten dollars to have your shirt cleaned."

So the guy leaves the bar, goes home, opens the door and his wife starts immediately yelling at him.

"Look at you, your DRUNK! And you've thrown up all over your shirt!"

"Honey," the guy replies, " I'm fine. And I didn't throw up all over my shirt. Some OTHER guy at the bar did. He apologized and gave me this ten dollar bill to have my shirt cleaned."

"But that's a twenty dollar bill," his wife says.

"I know. He also shit in my pants."