So I Was On This Escalator Going Up

and there was this guy dressed as a clown going down to my left. As we went by, he pied me in my face. He cackled as he went past me. I decided that I wouldn't take this bullshit, so I leaped across to where the clown was and tore off his head with my own bare hands.

As I wiped the pie and blood off of my face, I overheard one of the bystanders whispering, "Wow, that escalated quickly."