St. Peter Receives A Soul At The Pearly Gates

"Welcome, young soul. May I ask you the manner of your demise?"

The guy answers, "I had long suspected that my wife was cheating on me, so I dropped early by my 19th floor apartment. I found my wife naked and sweaty at the bed and I turned the place upside down looking for her lover until I heard a noise from the balcony and I saw feet dangling from my upstairs neighbor's balcony. I immediately grabbed the bastarda and made him lose his grip. He ended up landing at the pine tree by the front door and I saw the motherfucker walk away! He fell unconscious right by the balcony line so I went to the kitchen, pulled the fridge, pushed it to the balcony and dropped it on top of him. I squished him! The effort and the adrenaline gave me a heart attack, though, so here I am."

St. Peter passes judgement on the soul and sends him to limbo due to his justifiable sin. Another soul shows up.

"Welcome, young soul. May I ask you the manner of your demise?"

The guy responds, "I was in my 20th floor apartment doing aerobics and my cat made me trip, sending me tumbling towards the balcony. I dropped beyond the rail, but I held on dangling. Then I felt someone tugging at my legs and made me lose my grip. I fell on a tree and tried to walk away, but I fell unconscious. I don't recall what happened after that, but here I am!"

St. Peter passes judgement on him and allows him passage to heaven as an innocent. A third soul shows up.

"Welcome, young soul. May I ask you the manner of your demise?"

"Well, St. Peter... here I was naked and sweaty inside this fridge..."