A Blonde A Catholic And A Boy Scout

So a blonde going on vacation, and a Boy Scout on his way to retreat with his father get on a small aircraft with the pilot who is an old and devout catholic.

The pilot sees the Boy Scout is shouldering a large pack and takes it from him, laying it near the door. They all take their seats and get up in the air. Soon after, the plane's engines stall, and the pilot announces they are going to crash.

"I only have two parachutes," the pilot says. "But I've lived a long, righteous life, so I'll go down with the plane and soon see my wife in heaven."

The boy's father looks at him. "Billy, you've always been so compassionate and intelligent. You go on that retreat. I've lived a wonderful life and have already made greatest achievement, you. So young lady, you and Billy may take the parachutes."

"Yippee!" The blonde says, and jumps out the exit.

"Now son, I know this is hard-"

"Wait, dad. I just want to ask... You always wished you could buy me the world, right?"

"Of course, son."

"And if I lost my backpack, you'd buy me a new one?"

"Of course, son."

"Good. Here's your parachute. That dumb bitch just stole my backpack."