There Once Was A Man Who Was In Love With Trains...

From a young age, Jack had been obsessed with everything trains. He'd always wanted to get a job working with them. He spent all of his spare time playing on train tracks, riding trains, and reading about them. Eventually the time had come for Jack to go to college. So he went to school to become an engineer, and studied hard.

Jack graduated at the top of his class, and got a job with a global train company, driving the trains. Jack loved his job, it was his dream. Unfortunately, within the first few months, he caused a major crash that killed a slew of people. Jack was fired, and had to go find work elsewhere.

By determination and a stroke of sheer luck, Jack again found a job with a national train company. It was smaller than the global one, but still a very good gig, and would allow Jack to do what he loved. A few months into that job, he caused yet another crash, killing more people. Again, Jack was fired and had to start looking for a new job.

Throughout the next few years, Jack jumped from company to company, trying to hold on to the job he enjoyed so dearly but ultimately killing people through accidental train crashes. After some time, there were just no companies that would hire Jack.

Deciding to go where nobody knew his name, Jack managed to get a job in a small town, again driving the local trains. He was elated, he had found his dream job again. As it would happen, a couple months in, he crashed the train, and everyone on it died.

Eventually, Jack's guilt caught up with him, he gave up on trying to drive trains, quit working, confessed his accidental crimes, and was sentenced to death by electric chair.

The day of the execution, the executioner sat him down, asked him for any last words. Jack had none. The switch was flipped, Jack was zapped...

... and remained alive.

Distraught, the executioner tried again, but to no avail.

He unshackled Jack and asked, "why won't you die?"

Jack answered, "well, I suppose I'm just not a good conductor."