I Have A New Primary Care Physician

After two visits and exhaustive Lab tests, he said I was doing fairly well for my age. (I am a little over seventy).

I couldn't resist asking , "Do you think I'll live to be 80?"

He asked, "Do you smoke, drink beer, wine or hard liquor?"

"Oh no,' I replied. 'I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat thick steaks, desserts and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "Not much... My former doctor said that all that stuff is very unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

No,' I said...

He looked at me sternly and said, 'Then, why the fuck would you want to?