When I Was A Boy I Wanted To Steal A Record...

So I went into the music store and wandered around a bit, trying to look like any regular customer. When the lady at the front counter turned away for a second, I grabbed the closest record to me and stuffed it into the front of my trousers. It still had the jacket around it, so two of the corners were showing near the bottom of my shirt. I flattened it the best I could and started to calmly walk out. The lady at the counter turned back around and asked accusingly, "Son, is there a record in your pants?" "Ma'am, it's impressive, but I don't think it's a record."