An Old Lady Goes Into A Sex Shop...

and asks the shopkeeper for something that'll help take care of herself. The shopkeeper recommends a stainless steel dildo. The old lady goes home, tries it, and returns to the shop the next day.

She tells the shopkeeper, "I didn't care for this. It was too cold."

The shopkeeper then recommends a wooden dildo. The old lady goes home, tries it, and returns to the shop the next day.

She tells the shopkeeper, "I didn't care for this. It gave me splinters."

The shopkeeper says, "I will give you this magical dildo we just got in stock. You're guaranteed to be satisfied. To get it to work, all you have to say is where you want the dildo to go, and it will fly in there automatically."

As the old lady was driving home to give her new toy a whirl, a bumble bee flew into her ear.

"Ahh! My ear!" says the old lady. And in that moment, the magical dildo kicks into action and flies into the old lady's ear. She starts swerving all over the road out of control until a cop pulled her over.

"Ma'am, you were driving all over the place. I'm afraid I'm going to take you to jail for reckless driving."

"Please Officer, try to understand. There was this magical dildo..."

"Magical dildo? Magical dildo my ass!"