Smartest Human Competition

Once upon a time a major TV outlet hosted greatly revered competition to determine the smartest, wisest, brightest specimen of Homo Sapiens once and for all. The popularity and feedback was unprecedented. Millions applied. After months of long and detailed tests ranging from simple IQ tests to timed QED calculations a surprising result emerged. There was two unexpected standing challengers:

An Irish priest and an Australian farmer.

Grand jury began final round televised live to every corner of the planet: Questions from all areas of expertise known to man constructed by the sharpest minds mankind could offer... But yet another surprise. All certified and approved questions had been answered with no hint of hesitation from neither of contenders... After a short caucus Grand Jury decided that both competitors had to write an improvised short poem. Better writer wins the contest and becomes a legend. However.. poem had to contain a distant city's name 'Timbuktu' to avoid copycatting.

After a short while an Irish priest confidently steps forward and begins with well trained melodic soothing recitation:

'I am a father near all my life

Though I have no children and I have no wife

But I read a bible through and through

On my blessed road to Timbuktu'

Standing ovation. Organisers with tears in their eyes step forward to proclaim winner. But Australian farmer slowly approaches the microphone. Billions hold their breaths in their homes, apartments, pubs, stadiums, caves, space stations, you get the idea...

'When me 'n m' mate Tim to Sydney went

We met few ladies, cheap to rent

They were three, and we were two

So I booked one, and Tim booked two'

[Crickets chirping happily]