A Man Finds A Magic Lamp.

He then rubs it and a genie appears.
Genie: Thank you for freeing me mortal. I'll grant three of your wishes.
Man: My first wish is I want a million more wishes to be granted.
Genie: That's not how it works. I can only grant you three wishes.
Man: Fine. Just to be sure, you'll grant me three wishes no matter what?
Genie: Yes, I am bound by magic to do so.
Man: Okay. For my first wish I want a really thick tree log which is very rough on the surface.
Genie: Your wish has been granted.
(a similar log appears)
Man: For my next wish, shrink it such that it becomes very thin and then shove it up your ass.
(the genie is not happy but does it out of obligation)
Man: Now for my third wish, are you going to grant me a million wishes or should I have you expand the log back to its normal size?