Jim Walks Into A Bar With His Arm In A Sling.

He sits next to his friend Bill and orders two shots of whiskey.

Bill asks him, "How'd you break your arm, Jim?"

Jim downs a shot of whiskey and says, "Well, you see, about two years ago--"

Bill interrupts him, "Woah woah, two YEARS! You didn't break your arm two YEARS ago!"

Jim scowls. "You gonna let me tell the story, or not? Anyway..."

"About two years ago, I was driving down Rural 80. It was almost sunset but I was hours away from the city. My car runs out of gas outside a farm out in the middle of the fields.

I go knock on the door of the farmhouse, hoping they'll let me use the phone. A complete knockout of a lady answers the door, sexiest thing you ever saw. Said their phone's out of service, but I'm welcome to use the guest bedroom overnight and walk for gas in the morning.

She lives alone, and offers to make us both dinner. We eat, we talk, it's real pleasant. After dinner she walks over to me, leans in close and asks,

"Is there... anything else I can do for you?"

Well, dinner was good, and the dessert topped it off real nice, so I patted my stomach and told her I was fine, but thanks all the same.

We retire to the living room, and she offers me the big soft recliner. Pours us some scotch, we drink and laugh. It starts getting late, she walks over to me, stands behind the chair and rubs my shoulders. She asks,

"Is there... anything else I can do for you?"

Well the shoulder rub feels mighty nice, so I tell her I'm fine, but thanks all the same.

It's real late now and I gotta walk for gas in the morning. I retire to her guest room, settle in and get comfy. Right as I'm dozing off, the door creaks open. She's standing in the doorway wearing pajamas that're almost transparent. She flips her hair over her shoulder and asks,

"Is there... anything else I can do for you?"

It'd been a long day, I'm tired, I yawn and tell her I'm fine, but thanks all the same. In the morning I go get gas and drive on to the city."

Jim sits in silence, his story done. Bill, frustrated, asks Jim, "What in the hell does that have to do with your broken ARM?!"

Jim downs his second shot of whiskey, turns to Bill, and says, "Yesterday I was cleaning my gutters out, when it finally hit me what that lady was getting at. Slapped my forehead so hard I fell off the ladder and broke my arm.