Two Men With Black Eyes Waiting For The Elevator

Two men waiting for an elevator notice that they both have black eyes.

The first man asks, 'Hey, how did you get your black eye?'

'Well..' the second man starts. '...I took the wife shopping. She wanted to buy a new dress for her birthday dinner. So, I sat there for an hour watching her try on dress after dress after dress. Finally, she asked me what I thought of this tight red dress. It looked really good on her and it made her butt look amazing. I have a thing for big butts and I love hers but she is self conscience about it. So I went to tell her she and her ass looked great in it but I slipped up and said -- It makes your ass look huge. So she punched me in the eye.'

'No shit?!' The first man says. 'Almost the same exact thing happened to me!'

'Really??' The second man asks.

'Yeah. Last night the wife and I got into a huge argument over the kids and bills. We've been fighting a lot the past few years over her spending and how bratty the kids have become because of her spoiling them. Typical stuff, ya know?

'I hear you on that.' The second man quipped.

'I guess she realized I was in the right because of what she did this morning to apologize. I came down stairs and she had made this awesome breakfast. I'm talking bacon, eggs, french toast, fresh orange juice, cereal; basically, the works. Everything I love. I sat down and she brought over a plate stacked with all of my favorites. I tore right in to the bacon...'

'Naturally...' The second man says.

'...and I plowed through the french toast and eggs. They were so good. Then I went to ask my wife to pass the post toasties cereal but instead I slipped up and said -- You fucking bitch you ruin my life!!!!!!!!!'