A Roman Farmer Is Working In A Field...

..and he comes across this berry bush. On it he finds the most perfect, plump berry he had ever seen.

He decides it must be The God Of Berries. So he immediately gets down on his knees and begins to worship and praise the berry.

After a while, he plucks the berry and brings it home to show his wife. "Wow, that's some berry!", she says, immediately recognizing its significance.

She puts it on the mantle of the fireplace, and she and her husband get on their knees, praising and worshiping the berry.

Word eventually spreads to the neighbors. They start showing up at the door: "We heard about the berry!"

Soon the entire region is worshiping and praising this berry.

Eventually word reaches the local Roman magistrate that there is a religion rising around this berry. Concerned that it may be supplanting Roman dominance, he dispatches his best legion to take the berry captive.

The legion arrives at the farm and the captain knocks on the farmer's door.

The farmer answers, see the legion, and asks, "Have you come to praise the berry?"

The legionnaire answers, "No, we come to seize your berry, not to praise it."