(REMIX) My Job Is Fucking Unbelievable....

...I'll try to first sum it up by telling you about my colleagues:

First, there’s this guy who likes to think he’s the boss of us, which is like, so ridiculous. He makes out like I’m dumb, but he’s so gullible sometimes, it’s almost pathetic. Ok, yeah, I’ll admit he is easy on the eye, but someone needs to tell him that there are clothing options that don’t involve blue jeans. I can’t really complain too much about him though, as he is the one in charge of our transport.

Next, there’s a girl who has to be one of the smartest people I’ve ever met. I think she’s like a genius or something. Her career could be on the up & up, and yet, she chooses to stay in this job with us. Now, I don’t want to be bitchy or anything, but I have to say that unfortunately she is not blessed in the beauty stakes. Ordinarily this wouldn’t bother me, but sometimes I'm not sure she even showers, (much less shaves or waxes) & the smell of body odour after a long day on the job is just too much to bear. She dresses like she got lost in an 80's jumble sale & I think she might be a lesbian, because the other day I caught her twitching over a picture of Megan Fox when she thought no one was looking. She also has a cat named Ellen.

But the icing on the cake has got to be the fucking stoner guy. I honestly don’t know how he holds this job down. Now, this chap is more than just your casual toker. Honestly, he is always fricking baked; he gets his buzz on before he even comes to work & I know he’s definitely tooting during work, so I'm pretty sure after work is no exception either. He fell off the wagon around ten years ago seems like, and he's only 22. He dresses like a reject wannabe from the 60's, with this ridiculous bushy hair that looks as though it’s not seen water, let alone a brush, in months, and to make matters worse, he always brings his big, weird fucking dog to work. This has got to be against a law of some sort surely, but yet nobody ever stops him.

So every fucking day between dealing with the bossy guy, the stoner & the body odour chick, I have to look at this huge, dumb Great Dane walking around half-stoned from the idiot's second-hand smoke. Sometimes I even think it's trying to talk to us with its constant whining.

To top it off, both of them are always constantly hungry, which then requires multiple stops for fast-food snacks & sweets, every single fucking day. Like I said, it's fucking unbelievable.

Anyway, about my actual job, we drive around in the blue-jean-guy’s flowery van, and we solve mysteries and shit like that.

TL;DR: Daphne Blake from Scooby-Doo