Friday, August 21, 2015

Tom The Soldier In The Desert.

An army is in the desert for several upcoming months. The sergeant tells his troops: "Well, I know the climate is harsh and that you won't have a lot of entertainment here as there is no women. But, in case you cannot stand the pressure anymore, you will be allowed to take the camel behind this tent." and ends his speech with a wink. While passing by, Tom the soldier takes a look at the camel. It's old, foul, leaks fur, its rear is covered with dry poo and flies are buzzing all around.

2 months pass, and Tom the soldier sees some of his comrades going behind the tent. When they come back, they display a large smile and swag.

After 4 months, Tom is still observing his brothers in arms doing the same little game. But he thinks "Are they really that sexually deprived?" as he can smell the old camel's awful scent from his place. He then reflects to find an alternative.

Another month passes and Tom continues to look at happy men coming back from behind the tent. As he feels tension from the waist down, he tells himself "I won't do such a thing. I can resist."

Another month passes and Tom is now having a hard time, obsessed with his own nuts. But the remembrance of the camel's aspect keeps him from acting.

After the 7th month, he feels real pain. He gets up and says: "I can't handle it anymore. This is beyond my limits."

Tom drinks alcohol, goes behind the tent and looks at the camel with some revulsion : "I'm sorry. I have to. Blurg."

Soon after unzipping his trousers, the whole camp begins to hear loud growls and rumbles-chewbacca style "HHRRAAAWW HHHRROOOON HRON HHHRAAAWAAAR HRRAAWWAR"

Everyone then hastens to check what is happening. They find Tom, naked behind the camel.

Sergeant asks: "WHAT THE F*CK ARE YOU DOING, SOLDIER ??"

Tom faintly answers: "But... you said that the camel was here to release the pressure, so I thought..."

Sergeant replies: "GRMBL! The camel is only here to get your ass to the next village, you jerk."

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